urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mayraaaa ...that I plan on keeping mayraaaa 2006-01-10T15:11:52Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mayraaaa:1997 2006-01-10T15:11:52Z 2006-01-10T15:11:52Z I really don't know what it is about me that is so hateable. Last night I gave up trying, fuck this, fuck everything. <br /><br />I don't get all the petty drama, all the UNNECESSARY drama. I hate the fact that I forget things that hurt me but when I am reminded of them, I realize how shitty people are (myself included) and how untrue and gruesome some relationships are.<br /><br />I don't get why my life seems to be so fucking hard when it really isn't. I have everything I need and could possibly want but I am simply not happy because of all the small things. I was talking to Lorrie last night and we came to the conclusion that we need to leave Dallas and as soon as I graduate, I plan to. I don't want to live here and be miserable. Houston is looking pretty good right now, so is Austin.<br /><br />I dunno, I think it may be my mouth talking more than my heart but I really don't think that I can put up with this shit much longer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mayraaaa:1290 2005-11-15T05:04:14Z 2005-11-15T05:04:14Z i can't help but feel a little sad.<br /><br />a few days ago, i had it all planned. i was going to pull through and by the end of the spring i was going to be caught up in my classes and i was going to graduate on time. but then yesterday morning i knew it wasnt going to happen, but i planned just in case. today, i know its not going to happen. it sucks to be so close and then to all of a sudden be so far again. im dropping my govt class, no use in taking it if i get the time to do better at my utd classes. and i'll only be taking one class at utd in the spring, which is okay i guess. ill have a lot of free time, which is the only good thing coming out of all of this. <br /><br />ill grow. <br /><br />come summer, ill have enough to retake 2 of my old classes to raise my gpa and then back to taking 15 hours @utd in the fall. <br /><br />guess its for the best.